Fifty Shades Of Grey

  tags: avoid, erotica-ish, garbage, worst book of all time

2 thumbs down, all the way down

Book Description from Amazon.com

When literature student Anastasia Steele goes to interview young entrepreneur Christian Grey, she encounters a man who is beautiful, brilliant, and intimidating. The unworldly, innocent Ana is startled to realize she wants this man and, despite his enigmatic reserve, finds she is desperate to get close to him. Unable to resist Ana’s quiet beauty, wit, and independent spirit, Grey admits he wants her, too—but on his own terms.
Shocked yet thrilled by Grey’s singular erotic tastes, Ana hesitates. For all the trappings of success—his multinational businesses, his vast wealth, his loving family—Grey is a man tormented by demons and consumed by the need to control. When the couple embarks on a daring, passionately physical affair, Ana discovers Christian Grey’s secrets and explores her own dark desires.

The movie based on this atrocious book undeserving of its massive sales and popularity, is coming out soon, hence, the write-up. I read the first installment on Kindle, borrowed from the library, 2 years ago when it was all over the internet and on Goodreads. I wanted to know what the fuss was about. I'm not into reading this genre and didn't know what the acronym BDSM was and had to google it. I'm not against this genre, it's just not entertaining or "stimulating" to me. There are probably good authors for this type of books, judging from the 100 top free best sellers on Amazon but this one takes the cake in the worst writing in all genre. The author simply can't produce creative sentences, or she has the capability of a 5th grader, no offense to 5th graders. I read that this "book", if it can really be considered a book, started as a fan fiction story based on the vampire series Twilight, which I've never read nor have any interest in reading. 

The romance/love story of Ana and Christian is unbelievably stupid and the sex parts are not sexy at all, they are sometimes gross, but the most offensive is the juvenile writing. The author has no ability to be a good or even an acceptable author. She resorts to repetition of phrases, facial expressions, reactions, etc. 

Examples of her laziness or incompetence have been recorded by numerous appalled readers:   
holy shit - 65 times

holy crap - 54 times
holy fuck - 45 times

the phrase "inner goddess" - 47 times

My inner goddess is panting.
My inner goddess is going to explode.
My inner goddess has woken and is paying attention.
My inner goddess has her pom poms in hand - she’s in cheerleading mode.

To sum it up: 

Recommended reading Amazon's 1-star reviews. They are superbly written and awesomely more entertaining than the "book".